Round 2

Writers Write

Sex and Altoids

on February 16, 2015

I thought about doing a Valentine’s post the other day. Upon comparing the act to drunk texting my ex while watching The Notebook, I decided to pass it the fuck up. OK, in all fairness, my drunk texts are usually quite entertaining. But in this specific case, not posting right then was probably one of my best decisions. Ever.

– It’s not that I’m against love.

Oh, hell no. I adore love. I want love – the real stuff that’s mutually devoted, monogamous, and is built on trust, respect, and the three A’s: acceptance, appreciation, and attraction. Yes, attraction at some level is important. If you’re ugly inside, that radiates outward. And if you continue being internally ugly, you’ll attract the same in return.

– It’s not even that I hate Valentine’s Day.

I don’t. Not in its pure form. And not when it’s “celebrated” for the right reasons as opposed to being a requirement or test to prove your, or your honey’s, worth.

What do I hate? Commercialized guilt days that force one partner to feel like he or she needs to step up on a financial and gift level to avoid being a bad partner. And I loathe the fact that in this day and age, there are still more and more people who expect their partner to take the reins and “do it or else!” There are 2 people in a relationship. Do your part or GTFO.

Look, if you want to get your sweetie something, do it. Meaningful surprises are wonderful. But you don’t need Hallmark to tell you what to do and when to do it. And you sure as hell don’t need to feel like shit over being alone on a commercialized force-fed “holiday”. If you’re feeling lovey, be lovey. But don’t forget to love yourself as well. Show yourself that you’re worthy and enough, regardless if anyone else chooses to declare their love for you at the time. In other words, do something nice for yourself.. even if it’s just watching back-to-back rom coms that would normally make you want to poke your eye out with a spork.

On that note, I have to wonder how many couples came home after watching 50 Shades and wound up at the hospital over trying shit they had no business trying. Thoughts like not only make me giggle, but they totally make me grateful that I’m single right now. Experimentation and fantasies are awesome. But if you’re stupid enough to emulate a bullshit fictional story that completely twists and degrades a specific lifestyle based on safety and trust (and thereby get something stuck up your keister), you deserve to be part of a medical team’s favorite story that they’ll tell for the rest of their lives to a bar full of drunk coworkers.

Speaking of which, once work settles and I finish beta reading a friend’s wip, I may be able to finally get back to my own wip. An awesome friend gave me the breakthrough I needed to crush a two-year block. Now I can almost smell the beginning of my second draft brewing.

On a completely different subject, I don’t think I’m supposed to pop Altoids like candy. But damn if they don’t keep me awake!

If you’ve gotten this far, enjoy this brilliant ditty. You deserve it.


4 responses to “Sex and Altoids

  1. mrs fringe says:

    I was never into Valentine’s Day–but I do love a good chocolate. 😉 Happy just because you make me smile day, how’s that? Now get to writing! ❤

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