Round 2

Writers Write

Blame NetFlix

on March 9, 2014

An interesting thing happened this evening; and by “interesting”, I actually mean “amusing on a really weird and confusing level”. Keep up.

OK. So, hub and I were watching a sci-fi show on NetFlix, which we do…and it kept locking and signing out of the ps network, which it does. After the, oh, 13th time or so – give or take a few tosses – a strange “conversation” arose. Here are the highlights:

Hub: Where do you think cavemen peed?

Me: Cavemen?

Hub: Yeah. Cavemen.

Me: I guess wherever they wanted to.

Hub: Well, I really meant in the winter.

Me: Of course you did. Men have it easy.

Hub: How so?

Me: Point and pee. Stream moves away. Women, on the other hand…

Hub: Oh, no. Stream points away, first. But then dribble lands on the hands. Women just squat and pee. Easy.

Me: No! Squat, yes. But try squatting and peeing. See how fast your feet move when that pee splatters. It takes strong thighs to move like that.

Hub: So you think cavewomen built up their thigh muscles by tippy-toe, crab- running in place while squatting?

Me: That, or they just dug a hole. Probably with spoons.

Me continued: Wait. That’s crazy talk. Spoons weren’t invented yet.

Hub: How did spoons enter the picture?

Me: ‘Tis my point. They probably dug holes with their hands and peed in those…the holes, not their hands. No splashback that way.

Hub: They probably just peed wherever they could.

Me: …and in the water.

Hub: Water?

Me: Lakes, rivers, streams. Keep up.

Hub: Ew. I still think they just peed wherever they wanted to or could.

Me: Why’d you ask me if you knew the answer?!

Hub: I wanted your insight. Oh, look…NetFlix’s back.

Me: You’re a bitch.

As annoying and weird as that conversation was, it cracked me up. He does this crap ALL the time! Most of the time I try to ignore it and mumble knowing full well he can’t hear me anyway. But tonight, he was expecting real answers, so I was taken off-guard. And NetFlix isn’t working again, so I decided to blog about it. You can thank the ps network for that.


6 responses to “Blame NetFlix

  1. Steph says:

    Seriously. I wonder if there was some sort of etiquette…like if you peed in the wrong spot, you’d be a caveman outcast. Thanks, I know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the night, lol.

  2. swachski says:

    You should read my dissertation on this very subject: Urinary Voiding Rituals of Troglodytes During the Paleolithic Period. *coughs politely* *straightens cravat* *nibbles Onatoes*

  3. mrs fringe says:

    Your mind is a hella special, Ona.
    I knew I liked you for a reason 😉

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