Round 2

Writers Write

Blame NetFlix

An interesting thing happened this evening; and by “interesting”, I actually mean “amusing on a really weird and confusing level”. Keep up.

OK. So, hub and I were watching a sci-fi show on NetFlix, which we do…and it kept locking and signing out of the ps network, which it does. After the, oh, 13th time or so – give or take a few tosses – a strange “conversation” arose. Here are the highlights:

Hub: Where do you think cavemen peed?

Me: Cavemen?

Hub: Yeah. Cavemen.

Me: I guess wherever they wanted to.

Hub: Well, I really meant in the winter.

Me: Of course you did. Men have it easy.

Hub: How so?

Me: Point and pee. Stream moves away. Women, on the other hand…

Hub: Oh, no. Stream points away, true..at first. But then dribble lands on the hands. Women just squat and pee. Easy.

Me: No! Squat, yes. But try squatting and peeing. See how fast your feet move when that pee splatters. It takes strong thighs to move like that.

Hub: So you think cavewomen built up their thigh muscles by tippy-toe, crab- running in place while squatting?

Me: That, or they just dug a hole. Probably with spoons.

Me continued: Wait. That’s crazy talk. Spoons weren’t invented yet.

Hub: How did spoons enter the picture?

Me: ‘Tis my point. They probably dug holes with their hands and peed in those…the holes, not their hands. No splashback that way.

Hub: They probably just peed wherever they could.

Me: …and in the water.

Hub: Water?

Me: Lakes, rivers, streams. Keep up.

Hub: Ew. I still think they just peed wherever they wanted to or could.

Me: Why’d you ask me if you knew the answer?!

Hub: I wanted your insight. Oh, look…NetFlix’s back.

Me: You’re a bitch.

As annoying and weird as that conversation was, it cracked me up. He does this crap ALL the time! Most of the time I try to ignore it and mumble knowing full well he can’t hear me anyway. But tonight, he was expecting real answers, so I was taken off-guard. And NetFlix isn’t working again, so I decided to blog about it. You can thank the ps network for that.

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21 Years Ago.

Twenty-One years ago today marks the anniversary of losing my ability to sneeze without peeing a little.

OK, fine. It also marks the anniversary of the day I had my boy.

I went to bed last night feeling a little weepy over that. Usually I look forward to his birthday. I’m very detail-oriented when it comes to birthdays and major holidays. I spend a lot of time and effort making sure everything’s perfect. Some have called me anal. I tend to agree. But this year was different. I felt it early, and it prompted a huge wave of depression. Money’s tight and my boy’s leaving soon. Every time I asked what he wanted for his birthday, he said “nothing” because he downloads or buys himself whatever he wants when he wants it. He works his butt off to afford that luxury, so I try not to complain. Still, 21st birthday and no big bang from mom? It bugged me..until this morning.

Kiddo made plans with some friends to do the big 21st birthday bar trip. Legal drinking age is 18 up here, so this number isn’t as big of a deal as it would have been back in the states. He’s gone to bars legally before. Only difference now is that he’s legal everywhere. I decided to stay home because I’m not a drinker, and the last thing a kid usually wants to do is hang out with mom on his 21st birthday..especially when he lives with her. Sure, step dad’s playing designated driver, but that’s completely different…and necessary.

I did, however, get him for the morning..all to myself. We went out for breakfast; my treat, of course. Birthday cake and a card awaited him after he primped for his outing. A 2-year guitar magazine subscription will follow him when he moves. I passed him a little extra cash to help cover a video game and cd he wanted. And that was it this year. Just a few little trinkets, but he wasn’t disappointed. That was a major mood lifter.

Just after he left, I checked my favorite writing forum and found a good friend had posted this in a thread I started:

snark

She couldn’t have possibly known this was exactly what I needed today, or how well it fits my relationship with my kiddo, and her for that matter. Well, maybe she knew the latter ;). But it cracked me up. It’s way too hard acting nice all the time. No one has time for that crap. So, thanks, darlin’. I lurve ya.

As for the rest of the day, I have a good 7 hours of nothin’-but-me-time. And I intend to fully enjoy it.

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Trying This Again.

Hi everyone. Or anyone. Or just me.

I know, I know…I cancelled my blog a couple months ago. Yep. Just tossed it out like greasy KFC containers in yesterday’s trash. I get it. I gave up. Life happened and it sucked. I got mad. I got scared. And I shut down. Guess what? It happens. Round two.

Life’s no better today than it was the day I deleted my last blog. In fact, things have gotten worse. A lot’s happened in the past couple months, but I’ve made a decision to start anew, fresh..focus on finding something daily to make me smile.

Sure, that’s going to be tough. Money’s at an all-time low. My son’s moving 650 miles away next month. Stress is so thick and heavy most days that I can barely breath…but there’s always that glimmer of hope that sparks an idea, or just forces my moods to lift for awhile.

I finished draft 1 of my novel at the end of January. That was a huge accomplishment for me. It’s only the first draft, true, and I have a lot more to deal with there. But I’ve never written an entire novel. Sure, I’ve taken loads of notes, organized binders worth of research, created new worlds in my head and outlined a few generations worth of sub plots. But finished a first draft of an entire story? Never. Short stories, poems…absolutely. Novels? Nope. The first draft completion was major and I’m still ecstatic over that..until hub asks “so when will it be published?” or “so, you’re working on book two now, right?” And he asks those things all the time.

But this time, my blog is not about my husband..or my kid, or the pets (or at least not directly), or the countless things that tick me off and keep me emotionally unstable from day-to-day. This blog is about the things that force me to smile. If something kicks me in the shin and reminds me I’m still alive and worthy in this blasted world, it will likely be posted here. In some form..and hopefully with limited rambling. But those who know me realize that’s inevitable. I can still try.

Today’s goals:

Write, read, try to keep breathing, and maybe attempt to catch up on some of the blog posts I missed while taking my “break”.

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